Hello and welcome to late summer.  The days are getting a tiny bit shorter and we’re all trying to squeeze the last drops out of August before September and bursting-at-the-seams diaries are once again upon us.

This month may be a busy one for you or a chance to undo the top button and breathe a bit.  Either way, it is a great time to pause and consider helpful messages to get our heads in the right place and feeling strong for the start of the autumn work term.

Holidays and work breaks are fantastic and necessary, but the effects soon wear off. So here are some sayings - a few things to say to ourselves and others, useful to keep energy high and get in shape for the season ahead.

You win or you learn

It’s great to do well, walk a smooth path and have a long run of success at work.  Everyone deserves that at least once in a while – but it’s not when the learning happens.  We learn the most through the gnarly, tricky times, when nothing seems to go our way.  So when you hit a big fat failure, take it on the chin.  Life at work has a fair bit of win and lose in it, but losers are also learners.  Review what went wrong, gain the views of others, put right what you need to, then learn and move on.  It doesn’t feel this way at the time but you’ll look back on this period as a time of personal and professional growth that propelled you to a better place.

All feedback is a gift

 It really is.  Even if it is badly wrapped and seems like the present no one wants.  If all we ever hear is praise, we never know what we need to do to progress to the next level. When someone praises you, thank them but also ask what you could have done even better.  And ask them to be specific so you can really nail what you need to do to improve.  When you’re given negative feedback, learn to value it.  There will be something in the content that is of use, even if you don’t rate the delivery or the messenger.  Challenge it if you need to, ask questions if lacks clarity or substance, then take it and use it in a way it will help you most.  And don’t forget to thank them for the feedback – and not through gritted teeth.

This too shall pass

 Resilient people are positive.  Not shiny, smiley positive but sensibly positive in the way they gain perspective and look ahead.  Develop the ability to influence what you can and want to change and make choices about anything you can’t change.  No one can ever take away from you the right to choose your own attitude to the situation.  A positive, assertive attitude will take you a long way and tends to be associated with those high-performance people everyone wants on their team.

My bad

If like us, you were born before the 1980s, “it’s my fault” is what this means.  We seem to have lost the ability to step up, take responsibility and say sorry if something was our fault and shouldn’t have happened.  Just doing that when you need to, helps develop strength and accountability in you and in your work culture.  It allows us to own up, explain why, put things right and try better next time.  It also stops us expecting to be bailed out all the time by someone with rescuer tendencies.

And there are many more sayings that convert to practical ways to grow a bit of backbone, so if that is what you feel you need for the next few months, talk to us about how you can develop a stronger self and a more resilient team.  We promise to be firm but fair.

Picture the scene. You’re strolling down a sandy beach, walking hand in hand with someone hand-holding worthy. Gentle waves are rolling in and out of the shore, the water is nibbling at your toes. The sunset is glorious and the warmth peaceful. Then you walk headlong into something sharp. It’s a Teams Chat. With a start you realise you’ve forgotten to add a crucial timeline to a project that will blow everything out of the (no longer calm) water.

And that’s it. Beach dream over, the clock says 3am, you’re wide awake and reaching for your laptop.

Sound familiar?

One of the downsides to being dedicated to your job and motivated by what you do is that it can be hard to let go and return to life with a clear head. The way we work now – from a range of locations, flexibly and with 24/7 communication is brilliant in so many ways – a game changer  – but it does have its down sides. And if we’re not careful we create a situation where we’re never not at work.

Everybody has their own way of finding balance between work and the rest of life, so if you’re managing it well, read no further. If, however, you struggle sometimes as most of us do, here are some tips to help you detach from work when your day is done.

• Decide in the morning, an end point to your day and the work you need to do. Few jobs are so neat that you can finish every task daily, so agree with yourself where you want to have got to by the end of that day and leave it there. Tie things up to the point that you won’t fret about what is left to do.
• If you’re out and about, use your journey home to make the mental transition. This is one of the advantages of a commute. It gives you a chance to detach from one part of your life and rejoin another. So, if you have a commute, make the most of it and don’t just work or you haven’t detached at all. Read (not a job-related book!), watch or listen to something, play a game, stare out the window, look at fellow commuters and wonder about their lives – and allow your mind to end that part of the day. And if you do work locally or from home, go for a walk in the park, meet friends for a drink – do something that draws a line under the working day and propels you into the rest of your life. “Faking your commute” has been much talked about since we work more flexibly and with good reason. We all need that transition period and it needn’t be train/bus/car – it could simply be doing something in your office space that isn’t work related to help you make the switch.
• Consider switching off your work notifications. This won’t be right for everyone and if you’re on call you may need to stay in touch. If you’re not, however, and you know that emails coming in will make you agitated or distracted when you don’t want to be, consider closing down those communications until the next day.
• Be a follower of that time honoured stress management technique entitled “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”. If work is your sole focus it’s hard to switch off when you want to. It’s easier if you have other places to be when the time comes. So, develop interests, value your social life, volunteer, do sport – or whatever interests you outside work. If nothing else, they will give you something to think about when you need a break from work thoughts.
• Review your before-bed activities. Some people can eat late, scroll their News apps, drink copious amounts of caffeine and check emails and they still sleep like babies. Many of us can’t. Look for a night time wind down routine that works for you. Children have them, adults need them too. It doesn’t have to be bath/book/bed – just something that will give you the best chance at encouraging the beach dream and not the project planning nightmare.

 

When was the last time you shook things up a bit in your working life?  Took on a new project, learned a new skill, put yourself out there and did something weren’t particularly confident about?  If the answer is “all the time”, give yourself a big gold star.  If it is “in the last year” – well done you.  If you can’t remember – then go stand in the corner.

One of the greatest enemies of the new is quite simply – the old and wise.  The more experienced we become and the more in demand we are, the less time we have for keeping ourselves fresh.  We all need to be seeking out new knowledge and experience because it makes us even better at what we do.  But you have to consciously make time to do it.

These last few years have certainly shaken us all up.  We’ve had to adapt in ways we couldn’t have imagined.  You may feel fresher than ever - at the top of your game because you’ve had to make so many changes to the way you work.  Or you may just feel exhausted.  You have to make time for learning and time is the one thing many of us is short of.  If that is unlikely to change for you any time soon, here are three quick-fire ways to actively bring learning in to your working week and avoid the rot setting in:

1. Look left and right instead of up and down. Get out of your silo. This means seeking out experience in and exposure to other areas of your Organisation. It will give you a much better appreciation of the challenges colleagues face and how you might respond to them.  Get as much exposure as you can to different disciplines.  It’s fascinating, enriching and pragmatic.  Pragmatic because there’s a big link between learning and earning.  You’re making yourself more marketable.
2. Commit to one key learning investment a year. That’s not too much to ask of yourself or your employer. Promise yourself you will learn one significant skill every year.  It could be through formal study, a course or workshop, something online or simply reading deeply around the subject, but it should result in you being able to do something you couldn’t do before and something you can use in your work.  Learning is liberating so don’t deprive yourself.
3. Put your hand up more. Volunteer to take on new responsibilities, participate in different projects, take on a problem child task that no one else wants. It may be something you struggle with at times or feel scared about too, but you’ll come out the other side of it fresher and better.  To do this you may need to let go of another activity that could be done by someone else or perhaps doesn’t need doing it all.

No one wants to stand still.  Sometimes we think we do.  We tell ourselves we’ll tread water for a bit, enjoy the comfort of knowing what we’re doing and after the rather bumpy start to the decade we’re now nearly half way through, who can blame us?  That feeling won’t last long.  Humans live to learn, we want to grow and get better and sometimes that means not being the cleverest, it means being a beginner again.  As the saying goes: “If you are the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.”

When you first go into consulting, everyone tells you it’s famine or feast.  So you learn to make the most of any feasting and prepare for the lean times.  Even the famines have their value: a chance to catch your breath, rest and renew and slow the pace before the next period of abundance.

The highs and lows of workload are not just restricted to self-employment.  Our clients often talk about getting their heads down during busy times and looking ahead to when it calms a little.  Or at least they used to.

Recently we’ve noticed less talk about the quiet times.  We used to have peaks and troughs and now we just have peaks and peaks.  How did this happen?  We are aware of chronic burnout in our teams, we acknowledge it is an issue but push on regardless.  We’ve become used to being rewarded for being “busy” that we value it above effectiveness.

This month’s newsletter is in honour of the much-missed troughs, down time, quiet periods or whatever you like to call them.  For some industries, they occur in summer and at the end of the year/early Jan.  For others, those are the busy periods and there’s a slowing down at different times of the year.

Here are some reasons why we need the troughs:

• They allow us to pause. We’re people, not machines, and even machines get taken out of action for a check-up every now and then!  Slowing down, resting, taking time out and just doing less in the day gives us a chance to renew and refresh those essential internal resources we need to do our jobs well.  We think better, and more good ideas come when we feel rested and relaxed.
• They are the perfect times to build in reflection and review. Being results-focused is great and essential for success, but it doesn’t mean we have to fall into a pattern of result – on to the next thing, result – on to the next thing.  By reflecting at the end of a piece of work, project or event, we can discuss what went well, what didn’t and what we would do next time to be even better. The alternative is to stumble on and miss out on the valuable lessons learned from a bit of a wash up.
• Quieter periods in our work are a great time for progressing those back-burner tasks. You know the ones. We manage without them when we’re in a peak but if we could only get even one done, they take us forward.  These activities are often referred to as the important non-urgent tasks.  No one is pressuring us to get them done, but once completed, they give us a real sense of progress.  It could be engaging in some research, improving/updating a system or process or doing some valuable networking.  You limp along without doing them and then once done, wonder why you didn’t get started years ago.
• Troughs give us a chance to learn (also a back-burner task). When was the last time you did something for the first time?  When was the last time you were able to add some knowledge, experience or skill to your CV?  Troughs give us a chance to take time out for our own learning, to master something new, to grow personally and professionally.  These new skills may well come into their own during our busy times so making space for learning really does make sense.

It's time to make a change so peaks and peaks become peaks and troughs again.  Make time for the troughs, see them coming, value them, use them in the ways suggested and you’ll be better able to – not just cope – but thrive in the busy times.

Hello!

We first wrote this blog in 2020, but it still resonates, even more so in 2024. We all seem to be struggling with increasing workloads, doing more with less and little in the way of troughs to balance out the peaks.

Self-care doesn’t have to be limited to evenings and weekends; in fact it shouldn’t be.  Self-care at work matters even more.  So here it is again – our 5 tips for how to look after your well-being during the working day.

Self-care has got to be up there with the most frequently used words in our world right now. Yet when we mention it, talk turns to bubble baths and box sets.  This makes the assumption that self-care is something you need purely to recover from work rather than something that is part of work.

On a workshop this week the group were discussing said subject and most of the ideas centred around ways in which you take care of yourself by taking breaks from work.

Is that all self-care means? We don’t think so.  Strategies which aid effective working and a healthy brain and body can be just as important while you work.  And you don’t have to take a break to do it.

Here are 5 things to consider doing to bring self-care in to your 9 – 5 that are part of work not an escape from it.

1. Make thinking and planning part of the working day. Stop relegating it to before/after work time as if it weren’t real graft.  It very much is part of your professional skill set and the actions you take will be the better for it.  If necessary, block out planning time in your diary.  If more of us did this, it would elevate the status of this underrated but crucial use of our time.
2. Engage in joint problem solving. Grappling with problems alone can be a real energy sapper not to mention a time stealer.  Sometimes just talking it through with another person gives rise to a whole range of options you never considered.  Joint problem solving can be an extremely effective use of time as well as a chance to connect with others and get more heads working on the issue.  A problem shared is not just a problem halved.  Often, it’s a problem solved too.
3. Prioritise caring for your essential resources. Make a list of the things you just couldn’t do your job without at the moment.  The list might include – stable Wi-Fi, your laptop, a decent desk and chair set up, your phone, access to online communications software, fresh air, a quality set of headphones and an up-to-date system for filing vital information.  This may appear an unremarkable list but without those items working as they should, frustration builds and time is lost.  So, make a plan to look after your essential resources, update them if necessary and keep them in top order.  Take care of them and they take care of you.
4. Create alternative options to virtual meetings. We’ve written a whole other blog on this subject which you can access here, so we won’t labour the point.  Suffice to say devising effective alternative ways of communicating at work, which mean you don’t need to be on-screen all day is as much about self-care as it is about communicating.
5. Develop your professional networks outside your own organisation. Internal contacts and colleagues are vital but don’t always bring a fresh perspective.  External contacts who perform a similar role to you but in a different sector or a different role in a similar sector can be a fantastic source of ideas, information, support and challenge.  So - spend time cultivating these relationships.  A conversation with an external contact can be as refreshing as a walk in the park and you don’t have to take a break from work to do it.

We promised 5 things but here’s a bonus 6^th self-care at work tip.  Work-based learning.  Take time to engage in it.  Identify a skill you could do with honing; some expertise you’d like to develop or experience you would benefit from gaining and set about getting that learning need met.  It may be as simple as talking to a colleague who has it, or finding an interesting webinar to attend or a book to read.  Learning that happens at work is quicker to apply and easier to integrate into your current practices.  Learning makes us feel good and is a great way for you to add to your value as a team member and practitioner.

Self-care can still be something we engage in outside of working hours but it doesn’t have to be limited to then.  Self-care at work in the ways we suggest makes the day more interesting and challenges us in a good way. So, when the day ends (quicker than expected with these newly applied strategies) you can curl up in the bath with the box set because it’s an enjoyable to do rather than as a response to burn-out.

Confession time – are you a manager and also a bit of a Fixer? Do you like to run a tight ship and keep a close eye? Whether you manage projects, people or both, you love that warm, fuzzy feeling of having solved someone else’s problem, taking a burden off their shoulders, making it your problem and then fixing it – that’s what Fixers do. And it’s an act with honourable intent, yet it often has unexpected consequences.

A number of recent coaching sessions with a range of individuals has shown up a pattern. Each of these people is able, skilled and experienced – a real asset to their team. And each has been managed by a Fixer. Or in some cases, let’s call it what it was – micromanagement. This has resulted in these individuals doubting their own judgement in the job they do so well. The constant dictating solutions, checking up, taking stuff off them, not to mention red-penning their work (yes, really) has stolen away their ability to think for themselves and make choices confidently, even when a part of them knows they are good choices. Instead, their energy goes in to tying themselves up in knots trying to second guess what their manager wants and worrying all the time that they’ll be wrong. And then getting told that they are. This is not good.

Coaching sessions can help build people’s ability to value their own judgement again, but it takes time. If you manage others and know yourself to be a Fixer and also know your fixing is fast becoming micro-managing, here’s what you can do to speed up the process:
Stop doing it!

But apart from that, also:

1. Learn coaching skills. We can help you with that. All managers should have them and they give you a whole new perspective on managing and developing others. Coaching is about listening, asking powerful questions and helping individuals solve their own problems using their judgement rather than yours.
2. Realise your standards are just that – your standards. They may be appropriate for the job; they may not be. Just because you did it that way, doesn’t mean it’s the only way to do it. They may even be a bit out of date, so open yourself up to other approaches and only impose standards or ways of working where they are widely recognised by your profession as the only way to do things.
3. Decide to get that warm, fuzzy feeling from something other than fixing. At some point in your career, you were given freedom to develop your own judgement and that’s why you’re credible now. Give that gift to your team by empowering them, letting them get on with it and yes sometimes, allowing them to fail. That’s how they will learn (or re-learn) to trust their own view and make decisions with confidence.
4. Destroy the red pen.

Happy New Year! How has January started for you? Here, we’ve been looking back as well as forward, as a podcast we recorded in October has just been released. Director, Helena Sharpstone was interviewed by the rather fabulous Kenneth Foreman and James Wright, curators of the Do More Good podcast series. It was fun looking back at career highs and lows and to discuss our thoughts on what good management looks like, how to develop resilience in this ever-demanding world and why selling and fundraising aren’t really that different. Do have a listen and tell us what you think!

Click here to listen online

This month we feature a guest blog by one of our masterclass attendees, Reinier Spruit.  Reinier applies his thoughts on building teams, to fundraising, but honestly, his wisdom gained from attending our session could be applied to any discipline.  Read on and consider how this applies to you and your team.

 

This is how you build the best fundraising team.  In October at the International Fundraising Congress, I attended the masterclass run by Helena Sharpstone and Jhumar Johnson entitled “Leadership essentials and building inclusive, resilient teams”. Theory and practice were beautifully brought together this afternoon. It was once again confirmation that fundraising results are completely dependent on the great people who work in our organisations. From how good those people are at their profession, how those people work together and how they are brought together by the right management and frameworks.

I say it often: the Head of Fundraising is one of the most important ingredients for successful fundraising. Perhaps the most important ingredient. The Head builds bridges up and down, hires the right people, sets an ambitious course, prepares the rest of the organisation to be successful, and… builds the best fundraising team. A team consists of several individuals who work together towards a goal. The combination of all these fundraisers as a team should lead to a better result than if you were to add them together separately. In other words, the whole is more than the sum of its parts.

During the masterclass, Helena and Jhumar introduced Patrick Lencioni's book: 'The Five Dysfunctions of a Team'. One element shows that trust is the absolute basis of any well-functioning team. A lot can go wrong due to a lack of trust. Members of teams that lack trust hide their weaknesses and mistakes from each other, hesitating to ask for help or give constructive feedback. They draw premature conclusions about the intentions of others without attempting to clarify them. They don’t recognise and utilise each other's skills and experiences. And they may hold grudges, dread meetings, and find reasons not to spend time together.

But the other way around is also true. Members of teams with a lot of trust in each other admit weaknesses and mistakes. They ask for help. They accept questions and input about their responsibility. They give each other the benefit of the doubt before coming to a negative conclusion. They take risks when providing feedback and assistance and appreciate and make use of each other's skills and experiences. This leaves them able to focus their time and energy on important issues, not on politics. They offer (and accept) apologies without hesitation, look forward to meetings and other opportunities to work as a group.

When we talk about fundraising, we often talk about response rates, revenue, retention, data-driven and donor-orientated fundraising. But attention to the dynamics in your fundraising team is just as important and, in many cases, an absolute condition for achieving results at all. This is only possible in an environment in which people feel safe. Psychological safety [in a work environment] means feeling safe to take interpersonal risks, express your opinions, disagree openly, raise concerns without fear of negative consequences or pressure to cover up bad news.

That sounds great, but how do you create that safe environment as Head of Fundraising? In theory this is not very complicated. Treat others as they want to be treated. Welcome curiosity, because asking questions is very healthy! Promote healthy conflict, because a good discussion works wonders. Give everyone a voice, because every voice matters. Position failure as a real possibility, always give the benefit of the doubt, and put yourself in someone else's shoes.

How much attention do you pay to your amazing fundraising team?

Many thanks to Helena and Jhumar for a great masterclass!

In October we’ll be heading to The Netherlands to speak at the International Fundraising Congress.  One of our workshops is on how to become Fundraising’s most wanted – or any team’s most wanted for that matter.

In a world driven by people power, some people stand out. You know that person who walks into the room (virtual or real) and you just think, “You. We want you”? You don’t even know their skills or experience, but they have a vibe that puts them in demand. What’s their secret? Actually, they have three: a high-performance mindset, an approach the unites rather than divides, and more than just a bit of backbone.

There are a number of ways in which you can develop a high-performance mindset.  One way is to consider how you add value to your team and always have this in mind when you contribute. Are you a strong listener, do you ask searing questions that get people thinking, are you full of ideas and won’t give up until you find one that fits the bill?  Maybe you’re an ace problem solver who sees obstacles purely as things to overcome.  Team members with a high-performance approach, value all these attributes and more.  They work out what comes naturally, make best use of it and then apply themselves to develop a level of competency around the rest.  They come to the team with offerings not just requests.  It’s a bit of a cliché to talk about a “can do” attitude but if you can find ways to say yes more than you say no (within reason!) you’ll always be in more demand.

An approach that unites is all about valuing difference.  Do you seek out people who are similar to you? It’s natural and human to want to do that, it makes life easy, gives us a good “shorthand” with our colleagues and feels comfortable.  But you’re in grave danger of falling into group think.  Difference makes us think, sometimes it makes us uncomfortable, but in the end, you are more likely to innovate which propels you to the dizzy heights of an in-demand contributor.  Team members who look to welcome different approaches, experiences and backgrounds to the team, not only create a fertile ground for ideas, but they are also more likely to move seamlessly between teams, creating strong relationships as they go.

How’s your resilience at the moment – feeling sturdy or wobbly?  Understandable if it’s the latter, given all the challenges the world keeps throwing at us.  When it comes to strengthening your backbone, you could do worse than read up on the work of Carol Dweck and Growth Mindset.  The idea that you make your own luck and that talent and skill are far more about hard work and effort than they are lucky genes, just about sums up the Growth Mindset.  She talks a lot about “not yet” – the idea that you haven’t achieved something yet, won yet, smashed it yet – being a healthier approach than writing yourself off at the first sign of failure.  Coaching yourself to think “not yet, but getting there” is a great way to stoke up your resilience.  It’s a hopeful and positive approach that acknowledges the value of putting the effort in and that good things come to those who work hard.  Teams like that.

We hope to bump into you in the Land of the Tulip next month as we have lots more to say, but in case you don’t make it there, we’ll save you a Stroopwafel and record some of our sessions for you to listen to for more ways to become everyone’s most wanted.

Next month we’ll be heading north of the border to deliver an opening keynote at the Chartered Institute of Fundraising’s Scottish Conference on Fresh Thoughts on Leadership.

But really – is there anything new to say about leadership?  Well, we think there is and here are three thoughts for starters.

Firstly, leadership is a mind-set and a set of actions and behaviours, not a job title.  So, if you’re about abandon this blog because you don’t think you’re a leader, stay for a minute longer.  You don’t need a team or even a project to lead.  Leading can be about the way you bring new ideas to a conversation, notice things others have missed, pick up on an emerging theme and convince others to try an alternate approach.  We work with a number of clients who consider their “key influencers” across the organisation, every bit as key to business success as their leaders and managers. You are a leader, you just have to realise where, when and how you do it, to make the most of it and challenge yourself to step up.

Secondly, leadership doesn’t have a particular profile.  It used to.  When we first got into this game, leaders were easy to spot.  You led from the front, directed, demonstrated and knew how to address the crowd – and if that wasn’t your style, you didn’t get the job.  This is a dated view of what you now need to lead and our world (in case you hadn’t noticed) has changed.  Nowadays, leadership largely means 3 things: authenticity, good self-awareness and the ability to access all areas.  We no longer play a role; people want someone genuine they can relate to and who they believe gets them.  We don’t want people we have to make excuses for – we want them to know themselves well, accept feedback and work on the warts.  If the old-style leader description sounds like you – that’s fine – those things are still needed sometime, just not all the time.  Leadership also means listening, adapting, enabling and coaching.  At times it means being relationship focussed, at other times, task focussed. There is a place for looking ahead and a place for dealing with what’s in front of you.  The point is you need to spot what’s needed and adapt. Again – no one needs the title of leader to do that.

Thirdly, leading and change go hand in hand. You don’t just want to have a tolerance for change, you need to rather like it.  Because it’s going to be there whether you like it or not.  Leadership thinking embraces change and prepares for it, supports others to be prepared but also realises the impact of fast and constant change (welcome to 2023) so considers how we balance nothing staying the same with helping ourselves and others to look after themselves and avoid feeling stressed all the time.

Notice we said thirdly and not finally.  Because there’s so much more to say.  But for that you need to journey to The Dear Green Place aka Glasgow. If you’re already going, we’ll see you there.  If not, there is still time to bag a ticket.  Especially when you consider leadership is also about staying up to date, with fresh thinking. And when the leaders in the room are identifying themselves, you’re one of them putting your best foot forward.