Complaints are a reality of working life.  Whether they come from a customer, a colleague, a supporter or any other key contact, we are never going to get it right every time.  If the thought of a less than delighted email, a stroppy phone call, or a furrowed brow face-to-face meeting leaves you less than excited, it’s worth remembering that a complaint made shows a modicum of care.  People who complain to us do so because they want to see a wrong (perceived or otherwise) put right, so normal service can resume.  Be brave and treat it as an invitation to improve services and relationships.

Sometimes the only thing that sets you apart from your competitors is the way you deal with people and issues when they go wrong.  There’s a balance to be struck here.  If you’ve made a bit of a mess, you need to admit the error and put it right, but without becoming subservient or rolling in the dirt.  If you didn’t get it wrong, something still happened to trigger the complaint so equally you need to act to restore or rebuild relationships

Here are 5 tips to help you find the right balance when dealing with complaints:

1. Respond quickly to acknowledge the complaint, by email or telephone.  You are not acting at this stage, just acknowledging receipt.  It shows respect and avoids escalation.  It’s like the waiter who shows you he knows you want the bill even if he can’t get over to you yet, versus the one who studiously avoids your eyes and gestures.  Let people know you’ll be back to them very soon but allow yourself some thinking time.
2. Once in conversation, work hard to really listen and not second guess.  Conversations (even email ones) involving conflict are stressful and the temptation is to be thinking about what you are going to say in response, which means you risk missing the main points.  Try to stay calm, slow it down and really take in what is being said to you.
3. Separate content and tone.  People who complain are never happy, and the tone is likely to reflect this.  Getting hung up on the tone will only distract you from the content.  Ask yourself “What are they actually saying here?” and separate that from how it is being said.
4. Acknowledge what has been said in a genuine way.  This is otherwise known as “rolling with the punch”.  It is what you say to form a bridge between the complaint and what happens next.  They need to see that you can put yourself in their position and see it their way even if your position is different.  Wording is everything here.  Irritants like “I hear what you say” are usually said by people who clearly haven’t and they only serve to inflame.  “I see what you mean” or “I can appreciate how frustrating this was” or “Thank you for getting in touch about this” may be better.
5. We need to deal with the “s word”.  So terrorised are we by court action, we have lost the ability to say sorry.  Unless you have been advised against it, saying sorry when you’ve got it wrong is genuine and powerful.  Even if you’re not to blame, it’s reasonable to say sorry that upset has been caused.  It’s also important to say sorry without blame.  If the mistake is an organisational or departmental one, you are the one dealing with it, you should be the one saying sorry on behalf of others.  It follows the thinking that everyone is a marketeer and how you deal with this situation paves the way for others.  And a final word on saying sorry.  You need to do it right.  Stating anything that begins with the words “I’m sorry that you feel we have….” Is not saying sorry!  It’s a veiled way of saying – the problem is yours.

After that it is all about moving forward.  Give reasons why something happened if you’re able.  Reasons aren’t excuses – they’re explanations and they can help.  Then move to put things right.  What would they be happy with?  What would you be happy with?  What will be done and how will you stay in touch?  Consider your own experiences as a consumer.  Some of our best relationships develop out of a wrong being put right in a way that exceeded our expectations.  If a complaint is handled well, it’s an opportunity to win over a tricky colleague, turn a client in to one of your greatest advocates and enhance your reputation through others telling people how well you dealt with a difficulty.

At Sharpstone Skinner we work with teams and individuals on assertive and positive ways to maintain good customer and colleague relations and provide expert help on dealing with situations that may involve conflict. 

It may not be happiest part of your day, but if handled well a complaint can lead to better ways of working and turn foes in to fans.  If nothing else, it’s preferable in the long run that they’re saying it to you rather than about you.

There are many myths around motivation and many misuses of the term, which can be very confusing when we feel we’re a bit lacking in that area and would like to give ourselves a boost. One definition we use is that motivation is the drive to do your job willingly and well, over and over again. Using that as our basis let’s examine some of the myths then look at the reality.

Myth one – other people motivate you

Motivation comes from within, it can’t be plugged in. One human being cannot motivate another human being no matter how hard they try or how many carrots and sticks they employ. If someone doesn’t want to be motivated there is nothing anyone can do about it except the person themselves. It’s like someone eating a meal for you when you’re hungry – they may be satiated but you still feel hungry.

Want to know how to be motivated without carrots and sticks? Contact us.

Myth two – good manners motivate

We’re huge fans of good manners in the work place. Greeting everyone with a smile, saying please and thank you, recognising a great piece of work and giving credit where credit is due. The end of year letter to all employees from the CEO spreads a warm feeling and sense that all the hard work you have done has been noticed. There are a few seconds of that nice warm feeling and then….it wears off because it’s not enough to sustain you through the next year’s hard slog. If only motivation were that easy.

We can show you how motivating yourself is more than a nice warm feeling.

Myth three – motivational speeches are motivational

Henry IV was fantastic at these, in their time and place they enabled soldiers to gird their loins and go forth into battle. A good old stirring speech never did anyone any harm in times of worry or disappointment and they certainly have their place in the realms of inspiring you to go forth and conquer a problem, a challenge or a difficult client. However, come the morning after when the dust has settled the sparkle will have faded from the rhetoric and the effects will not carry you through the whole year.

We coach people to discover what really motivates them.

If those are the myths what’s the reality?

We are motivated broadly by three factors – people, achievement and enjoyment. We like interacting with others, working with people who are professional and engaged and who pull their weight. We like a sense of achievement, of making a difference or ticking off the “to do” list. Interesting, stimulating work motivates us too, the kind that stretches us and develops us personally and professionally.

The key to your motivation is to work in an environment where you can pick and choose what will motivate you today. Organisations need to be good caterers, they need to provide you with a really awesome buffet and not be tempted to do you a packed lunch. Your organisation can’t do this by guess work though. You need to communicate with your manager about what really motivates you and ask them to work with you to make sure it’s on the menu most of the time, and then you can get the fix you need. This means you can heal yourself, your manager doesn’t have to spoon feed you and you can be responsible for your own levels of motivation.

So there you have it, the myths have been challenged and the serving dishes have been warmed. Go forth and influence your own motivational environment.

To do more than inspire contact us.

We all know that group work starts with an ice breaker, expectations and ground rules. It is an important section to warm everyone up and get us all agreeing to how we will work together. On the ground rules someone will often mention putting phones and laptops away. For us this is common courtesy yet for some teams we work with this is such a problem that it has to be written down making it a public declaration. Too often it is not adhered to – and nobody says anything. The eyes roll, a few throats are cleared and meaningful looks are exchanged but no one calls out the behaviour.

Does this sound familiar in your team? You love your team mates but sometimes their behaviour drives you nuts, gets in the way of real performance and you wish ‘someone’ would say something. Well you are right; being accountable for your behaviours and those of your team mates is the bedrock of high performing teams. What hurts the team hurts the performance of the team and impacts on how you all work together.

Teams that do not hold each other to account are not as productive. The lack of attention to performance and behaviours creates resentment and different performance standards for different people. This encourages mediocrity as deadlines and deliverables are missed and the burden of discipline is pushed onto the leader.

Get accountability right and you will ensure that poor performers feel pressure to improve. You will identify problems quickly by questioning someone’s approach without hesitation which establishes respect among the team who are held to the same standard. One main advantage is that it avoids excessive bureaucracy around performance management and corrective action – music to your ears?

So how does a team start to improve its accountability? It starts with the leader, if that is you stepping up and calling out unproductive behaviour is your job, you need to role model holding the team to account then others can follow suit. Discussing capability with your staff is relatively straight forward; you have the evidence on standards and performance and can discuss and hopefully close the gap with training, extra supervision, coaching etc. But what about behaviour? That’s trickier because it feels really personal – “John, we said no laptops in the meeting can you put it away”, feels a bit parental and often stops a leader pulling someone up. Yet how would you feel if we told you avoiding that conversation makes you a Pooh Bear leader?

Pooh Bear leaders smother their staff in cotton wool, their favourite avoidance tactics are:

· Excusing behaviours – “Mary’s had a tough couple of weeks”

· Shrugging their shoulders – “that’s just Nick”

· Sticking their fingers in their ears and humming a tune – “what bad behaviour, I didn’t see it”

They justify their behaviour by describing themselves as a permissive leader, giving people space to be who they are and not micro managing them, in reality they fear holding people to account. Don’t we all? It’s really tough to pick someone up on behaviour that is harming the team, it’s a risk and yet if we don’t do it we risk something worse – a slowly declining performance and a team that becomes really irritating to be part of.

You also hold back the personal development of your individuals. If you have a moaner in your team that you turn a blind eye to, guess what? They get known as a moaner and however hard they try to get that promotion or become part of that interesting project team their reputation goes before them and they never achieve their potential …..all because you did not let them know that behaviour was harming themselves and the team.

Once the leader has begun to encourage better behaviour it gives all team members the signal that it’s ok to do this too and to expect to receive feedback in return. It has to be in the spirit of making the team better and is always easier when the team has a high level of trust. This is not an excuse to pull colleagues apart it’s an excuse to make everyone the best they can be for the good of the team and the organisation.

If you feel able a good exercise is to ask all team members to write down a positive behaviour for each team member, something they value their colleagues for and then one that they would like to see improved or increased for the good of the team. The leader should get the feedback first so they can model the receiving of the good and the improvements. It’s amazing how the affirmation of positive behaviour creates a real bond in a team and the less than productive behaviour becomes something to aim for. We usually find that the less than good behaviour is always something recognised by the recipient and is something they may welcome working on.

All of us can point to someone in our careers that gave us some feedback on our less productive behaviours, and we thank them for it. Hearing it may not have been comfortable but we appreciated the time and energy that person put into helping us round off a sharp edge and the fact that they were on our side.

Wouldn’t you like to be that person for someone else? Isn’t it worth it to make your team really fly?