Wisdom & Wit

Smart ideas. Sharp thinking. Perspectives that matter

Meetings – a welcome break or a way to break you?

Meetings have exploded from a productivity tool to an overwhelming burden. With meeting loads consuming entire workdays, we're drowning in Slack chats and Zoom calls while actual work suffers. The solution? Be ruthless: only meet when necessary, make your work visible outside meetings, and radically restructure meeting culture with shorter durations and proper scheduling gaps.

Collaboration and Other C Words

We use the word collaboration so much these days it is in danger of heading in the Bullshit Bingo direction. It’s the sort of word you keep finding on creased pieces of flipchart paper after team away days.

Talking ‘bout my generation

Human beings love to categorise, don’t they? When we talk about generations, we are usually referring to our family, who fits where and how we can trace them back. Or we use it to complain about their music.

Summer in the City

As the weather hots up (ever the optimist) our workloads often cool down. If you’re seeing light at the end of a huge to do list, how are you going to use your downtime to best effect? Summer affords us an opportunity to take a breath, take a break and tackle some items on the not so urgent list.

When managing becomes meddling

Many leaders struggle with the urge to jump in and fix problems themselves rather than trusting their teams to handle the work. Whether you're a technical expert or came up through management, effective leadership means stepping back, enabling others, and resisting the temptation to meddle under the guise of being helpful.

DIY Development

We tend to think of training a bit like teaching – something we rely on others to drive; something that is done to us. Learning and development though is wider and has more opportunities for you to drive your own growth.

How is your get up and go

How is your get up and go?

As the days get longer and the sky bluer (a girl can dream), let’s stop, breathe and turn our attention to motivating people.

Man looking at a document...

Sorry seems to be the hardest word…

Complaints are a reality of working life. Whether they come from a customer, a colleague, a supporter or any other key contact, we are never going to get it right every time. If the thought of a less than delighted email, a stroppy phone call or a furrowed brow face to face meeting leaves you worried, it’s worth remembering that a complaint made shows a modicum of care.

You never call, you never write…

In today's hyper-connected world, we're drowning in communication options. But is constant contact actually helping us? While technology offers endless ways to connect, a "communication rebellion" is brewing. Some are deliberately slowing down responses, leading to frustration and confusion. So, how long is too long to wait for a reply? This article explores the delicate balance between instant replies and thoughtful responses, offering practical tips for managing expectations, streamlining communication, and remembering that sometimes, a good old-fashioned phone call is still the best way to go. Are you ready to rethink your communication habits?

Not a newsletter about new year’s resolutions

Instead of making resolutions, let’s look at growth. We may not know yet what the next 12 months has in store for us but we know there will be change. There always is. In times of great change, it can be useful to look for constants, especially if they are ones that take us to a better place.

I don’t mean to be negative but…

Do you consider yourself a negative thinker and do you sometimes feel undervalued for it? This month’s blog looks at how to get best value from the ability to look on the dark side and how to do it well so you aren’t misunderstood or your contributions overlooked.

Back-to-back meetings are human made

I’m really looking forward to a day of back-to-back meetings where my eyes never leave the screen and my derriere never leaves the seat. Said no one ever.

Getting in shape for the season ahead

Hello and welcome to late summer. The days are getting a tiny bit shorter and we’re all trying to squeeze the last drops out of August before September and bursting-at-the-seams diaries are once again upon us.

Clocking Off – How to end the work day with purpose

Picture the scene. You’re strolling down a sandy beach, walking hand in hand with someone hand-holding worthy. Gentle waves are rolling in and out of the shore, the water is nibbling at your toes. The sunset is glorious and the warmth peaceful. Then you walk headlong into something sharp. It’s a Teams Chat. With a start you realise you’ve forgotten to add a crucial timeline to a project that will blow everything out of the (no longer calm) water.

Time for a new room?

When was the last time you shook things up a bit in your working life? Took on a new project, learned a new skill, put yourself out there and did something weren’t particularly confident about?

Peaks Need Troughs

When you first go into consulting, everyone tells you it’s famine or feast. So you learn to make the most of any feasting and prepare for the lean times. Even the famines have their value: a chance to catch your breath, rest and renew and slow the pace before the next period of abundance.

Self-care and the 9 to 5

We first wrote this blog in 2020, but it still resonates, even more so in 2024. We all seem to be struggling with increasing workloads, doing more with less and little in the way of troughs to balance out the peaks.

Someone micromanaging another member of their team

Warning: being a Fixer can seriously impair others’ ability to make judgements

Confession time – are you a manager and also a bit of a Fixer? Do you like to run a tight ship and keep a close eye? Whether you manage projects, people or both, you love that warm, fuzzy feeling of having solved someone else’s problem, taking a burden off their shoulders, making it your problem and then fixing it – that’s what Fixers do.

A better approach to resilience - Podcast

In this podcast, Director, Helena Sharpstone was interviewed by Kenneth Foreman and James Wright, curators of the Do More Good podcast series.

Building inclusive teams – what does one of our colleagues have to say?

This month we feature a guest blog by one of our masterclass attendees, Reiner Spruit. Reiner applies his thoughts on building teams, to fundraising, but honestly, his wisdom gained from attending our session could be applied to any discipline. Read on and consider how this applies to you and your team.

Be the person everyone wants on their team

In October we’ll be heading to The Netherlands to speak at the International Fundraising Congress. One of our workshops is on how to become Fundraising’s most wanted – or any team’s most wanted for that matter.

Stepping Forward into Leadership

Will all the leaders in the room please step forward…

Next month we’ll be heading north of the border to deliver an opening keynote at the Chartered Institute of Fundraising’s Scottish Conference on Fresh Thoughts on Leadership.

It’s bravery not bravado you need right now

Hello All. We first put this piece out in 2020 during the early part of pandemic. Three years on, we noticed a renewed interest in it, with lots of you clicking to read it on our website. It seems to chime with people in the light of the latest set of challenges the economic and

An image showing skydivers forming a shape to signify collaboration.

The Art of Collaboration

It has been said that competition makes us faster but collaboration makes us better. Collaboration means everyone can contribute: you get to use all the experience in your team, not just some of it.

If you wouldn’t do it in the room, don’t do it on the screen

A month of 4-day weeks due to national holidays (in the UK at least) is both a joy and a challenge. The joy of the extra day off and the challenge of getting 5 days’ work activity in to 4. After a particularly heavy week of meetings (for us and I suspect many others) it’s worth reflecting on our meeting behaviour.

Secret ingredients for a high-performance team culture

As a manager, it can be tricky to get the balance right in your management style. You want to be supportive and helpful to your team but you also want to stretch them. Research has shown that high-performance teams share a common mind-set.

What got you here won’t get them there

Human beings love to categorise, don’t they? When we talk about generations, we are usually referring to our family, who fits where and how we can trace them back. Or we use it to complain about their music. When marketeers talk about generations, they mean people grouped together sharing birth years spanning 15-20 years who

Negative feedback – food for thought or a bitter pill?

Humans eh? You think we’d have cracked this giving feedback thing by now. We start with the best intentions – give it often, be open to getting it back a bit too – yet when the pressure is on, we forget to make it a priority and fall back on pointing out the flaws in a rush and staying quiet when people do a good job.

People in a meeting

Are you meeting or working?

At a recent away day, a team were trying to get a date in the diary for a meeting. Everyone kept saying “I can’t do that date, I’m working.” We were going around in circles until the team’s leader said “We need to rethink our attitude to meetings – when we have a meeting, that IS work!”

25 Years Part 2 – Looking Forward

On 4th November we were 25 years old. How did that happen?? In some ways, it seems like a few months ago that we started our consultancy but when we think about it, a lot has happened in our little world of Learning and Development (admittedly not as much as has happened in the wider

25 Years Part 1 – Looking Back

On 4th November we will be 25 years old. How did that happen?? In some ways, it seems like a few months ago that we started our consultancy but when we think about it, a lot has happened in our little world of Learning and Development.

Mentoring – a brain to pick, an ear to listen and a push in the right direction

Autumn is a busy old season. You’ll need all your resources to perform at the highest level over the coming months. Are you ready for everything the job throws at you or would a bit of help come in handy?

Getting in shape for the season ahead

Hello and welcome to late summer. The days are getting a tiny bit shorter and we’re all trying to squeeze the last drops out of August before September and bursting-at-the-seams diaries are once again upon us.

Leaders – you don’t have to be clever all the time

During a recent coaching session, a senior manager, newly appointed as leader to the team they used to manage, asked for help on building credibility. They had no issue with team members in non-technical roles.

Collaboration - It Takes Two Flints to Make a Fire

It has been said that competition makes us faster but collaboration makes us better. Collaboration means everyone can contribute: you get to use all the experience in your team, not just some of it. Not only does a collaborative culture enable you to ensure opportunities and risks are more transparent and manageable, it also makes

Human contact is underrated

We have noticed something interesting happening in the last few weeks. Human beings enjoy being in each other's company again despite the predictions of a remote workforce being the way to go during various lockdowns.

Stop talking location, start talking connection

The year is flying by, isn’t it? Someone stole January, February disappeared in a cloud of smoke and next week will see the start of April. Organisations like yours are juggling a busy workload with all the fun and games of adapting to new ways of working, mainly where we all work post-pandemic. Hybrid working trials have taken place and now we’re trying to bed in longer-term patterns.

I am 100% busy

As we emerge into 2022, bleary-eyed, hoping this will finally be the year of steady state (trying to avoid "new normal"), how are you feeling? Many of our clients’ report feeling weather-worn, buffeting by the effort of steering through Covid and all its storms and gales.

Not a newsletter about trends for 2022

Happy new year! We’re not making any predictions for 2022 – there are enough memes doing that for us. A personal favourite is: “Before I agree to 2022, I need to see some Terms and Conditions.” We may not know what the next 12 months has in store for us but we know there will

Feedback Part 2: Getting as good as you give

Hello again. In part one of this article, we addressed feedback, our motives for giving it and how to ensure you examine your motive before you open your mouth. Now that is sorted, you can deliver the feedback in a way that is taken well. It is vital to know the go-zones and no-go zones

Feedback Part 1: Examine your motive before you open your mouth

We should be so good at doing feedback nowadays. It’s a shame we aren’t. We start with the best intentions – to give regular feedback and be open to receiving it too – yet when the pressure is on, we forget to make it a priority and fall back on the mealy-mouthed act of speedily pointing out the flaws and staying quiet about all the good stuff.

Is the Fridge Still There?

How are your teams feeling about returning to the face-to-face universe? Some may have a spring in their step. But, on the other hand, some may be dragging their heels or worry about finding their work shoes and are considering arriving in their trusty slippers. (Warning – inappropriate footwear for the outer world). It is

Are you suffering from "them and us"?

Imagine you are driving a car with a passenger beside you. In the back are a bunch of people laughing, mucking about and munching on snacks. In the front, your face is grim. You can see the road ahead and it doesn't look good.

When managing becomes meddling

During a recent coaching session, a CEO admitted that when he headed up an Engineering firm he was a great engineer, but as a leader he was a pain in the neck. Too much nit picking and not enough enabling. He just couldn’t resist getting stuck into the work of others and what was intended

Full time remote teams? The honeymoon’s coming to an end

2020 forced us to embrace remote working and many have fallen in love. It makes sense, it saves time, money and energy and helps life feel more balanced. Apart from the home-schooling part as many a frazzled working parent will tell you.

Rhetoric without trust is just a lot of hot air

When we ask a group of leaders about the best leader they ever had, they tell us about the one who supported, stretched and believed in them. It is never a leader who gave great speeches, spun awful news, or kept them in the dark.

How to avoid a dry January

Happy new year and welcome to 2021! A probable game of two halves as we contemplate some dark months ahead before we emerge blinking into the warmth of a more familiar world as the year progresses. That’s the hope anyway.

Self-care and the 9 to 5

Self-care. It’s got to be up there with the most frequently used words and phrases of the year alongside furlough, new normal, resilience and “You need to take yourself off mute David!”. Yet when we mention it, talk turns to bubble baths and box sets. This makes the assumption that self-care is something you need

Leading from your gut

"Several times lately, I have finished my work, closed the laptop and sat staring out of the window of my spare room office worrying that I don't have the answers. That my team are looking to me for guidance about the future…and I simply don't know." A genuine, honest reflection from one of our clients.

Read this before your next meeting

It’s Monday. Your day starts with a 9am one to one catch up, immediately followed by another meeting at 10am. You meant to block out some time to work on a report at 11:30am but someone has dropped a meeting in to your Outlook and you feel under pressure to attend. Before you know, it’s

Redundancy, facing change and new doors

Redundancy. It's such a horrible term. It describes something that is no longer needed. We were made redundant 23 years ago and we survived and thrived. We set up a business together and we have never looked back. We know you would like to wipe the imagined smug look off our faces and we can’t

We’ll meet again

Who did you learn from in the early stages of your career? Whether you were aware at the time or not, you were surrounded by good and bad examples of how to do things in your chosen field. This must have informed your choices as you progressed. One such example from one of our clients

Have you got wellbeing fatigue?

In the early days of lock down we conducted some wellbeing calls for one of our clients to check that all really was well.

It’s bravery not bravado you need right now

Bravery and courage are central themes in so many books and films we have grown up with.

Virtual learning – is it worth it? (Part 2)

Hello readers. Last week we looked at some of the positives of learning online in a group or with your team and promised a counter-argument to follow. Well, here it is – some of the downsides of virtual learning and why we need to balance it with some close contact learning experiences once our country leaders and our common sense give us the green light.

Virtual learning – is it worth it?

How many conference calls and catch ups do you have today? Life and work BC (before Covid) was, for most of us, characterised by the warm body experience. Now we live our working lives and quite a lot of our personal lives too, on screen.

Have you got “not-busy guilt”?

You’ve set your office up, finally managed to work out how to get on a video call and are secretly enjoying the lack of a commute. You have probably been for more walks in the last two weeks than in the last two years and discovered things about your local neighbourhood you didn’t know. And you are busy, busy, busy…… or are you?

Absence makes the team grow stronger

It looks like we might be seeing less of each other for a little while. We didn’t need a virus to tell us that remote teams are a thing – many of us have been part of remote teams for years. But for the immediate future, we may all be part of a remote team.

Bridge the gap – are middle managers underused in your organisation?

Do any of the following sound familiar to you? Senior leaders have no time for strategy they are too busy fighting fires, large organisational change seems to stumble when it comes to implementation, staff refer to ‘them’ as the most senior leaders, missing out several layers of managers in between, mediocre middle managers hide for years doing just enough to get by, when you look around for the next senior leaders all you see is tumbleweed?

Not a post about New Year’s resolutions

…because they fail. In fact by the time this read this, you’re probably on the downward slide with some of your best intentions. Instead, an article about new beginnings. January is a great month for a do-over. You get a chance to do better at things that didn’t go quite to plan the previous year

Sit up and listen - Part 2

In our September newsletter, we explored one subject we love to present on, when we speak at conferences. And we promised a second theme so here it is. Something key, that is making our audiences sit up and listen. This one is about leadership and our thoughts on what leaders need to grasp to thrive

Sit Up and Listen – Part 1

The beach towels are folded and stored, the suitcases are back in the loft and we’re panicking about work we didn’t finish before escaping to the sun – it must be autumn.

You and I need to talk

Imagine you are in your regular team meeting; everything is going to plan then the usual thing happens. John starts moaning. Off he goes on some rant about how a decision made by ‘them up there’ is ridiculous, impractical and shows how rubbish ‘they’ are. Everyone starts looking anywhere but at him, and your meeting

I have no idea what I’m doing – is impostor syndrome holding you back?

Many years ago, I applied for the HR Director job at the charity I worked for. In the lead up to it I would pass other Directors in the corridor and panic – they were proper grown-ups and I was a mere child who couldn’t possibly sit at the same table as them because I had no idea what I was doing...

The Social Network

I’m going to a networking event – who’s coming with me? Don’t all shout at once. Mention networking and we all agree it’s a vital part of our role.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word...

Complaints are a reality of working life. Whether they come from a customer, a colleague, a supporter or any other key contact, we are never going to get it right every time.

Coaching in the corridor

Many managers work hard on their coaching skills. They identify when a member of their team is in the right place to be coached.

Nice things come in small packages

(or how to think big even if your team, department or organisation is small) If you are a leader in a smallish organisation you know you need to be a master of many trades. You are expected to handle high level strategic and low level operational tasks with equal flair. You may burn the midnight

Be motivated without a manager in sight

here are many myths around motivation and many misuses of the term, which can be very confusing when we feel we’re a bit lacking in that area and would like to give ourselves a boost.

Put laptops away

Tell them to put their laptops away

We all know that group work starts with an ice breaker, expectations and ground rules. It is an important section to warm everyone up and get us all agreeing to how we will work together. On the ground rules someone will often mention putting phones and laptops away. For us this is common courtesy yet

How to argue constructively

How to argue constructively

Part of being a great team is the ability to have a good old argument. Except that arguing is not everyone’s cup of tea, even the word sends shivers down some people’s spines whilst others rub their hands together with glee. Yet teams that don’t have a constructive level of conflict are boring to be

Can you pivot?

Volatile times are creating an environment where organisations are constantly confronting new business challenges, undergoing profound change, and being asked to pivot to meet new and tougher expectations. Like many buzzwords before it, ‘pivot’, is gaining traction and likely to be the most overused word in the workplace for 2017. When people use the word

IOF Blog – Developing Excellent Relationships

This month we spoke at a conference on one of our favourite subjects – getting relationships right. Better than right – getting them excellent. Whether you’re aware of it or not, when you show up in a communication, whether it is at a meeting, within a group, in a one to one conversation, even on

Feedback: doing it right

We should be so good at doing feedback nowadays. Most companies hope to create an environment where two-way, constructive feedback can sit comfortably. It doesn’t always happen. We start with the best intentions – to give regular feedback and be open to receiving it too – yet when the pressure is on, we forget to

4 nasty habits that turn teams toxic

At Sharpstone Skinner we have spent years coaching teams to attain and maintain high performance. We have developed a process to take teams through so they give of their best and achieve great results. Some teams get there quickly, some get distracted. There are many reasons why this happens. One of them is a set

Networking – how not to get your knickers in a twist

I’m going to a networking event – who’s coming with me? Don’t all shout at once. Mention networking and we all agree it’s a vital part of our role. Suggest actually going to a networking event and you start to sniff the fear. We’ve all got stories to tell of networking from Planet Nasty and

View from the top – is your high performer the real deal?

As a leader you’re only too aware of the need to balance your time between ensuring organisational goals are achieved and developing the individuals who work for you. Many of your team are good, solid, reliable workers but are they high performers? A high performer is not just someone who does their job well –