In the early days of lock down we conducted some wellbeing calls for one of our clients to check that all really was well. The organisation had done a brilliant job of setting everyone up with technology, keeping tabs on those that lived alone and allowing loads of flexibility around home circumstances like demanding toddlers and worries about family members. Their staff were grateful and commented that many of their friends were envious of this kind of support because they were not getting it. In the wind, though, there was a whiff of being over the question ‘how are you?’, in that very meaningful way we have been asking it.
Some observations we have made recently from the conversations we are having with clients might resonate with you.
Many people are managing all the plates they spin well. They are clear on their home/work boundaries, they communicate these clearly to people and perform to a high standard. Everyone knows when they are available, and any domestic challenges get dealt with quietly and without drama. If you work with someone like this, you have probably learned not to keep nagging them about their wellbeing because it is interpreted as…. well nagging! If they do ask for support, it is crisp, clear, and appropriate.
Those who are not quite in control of their surroundings can be a bit erratic. One day they are on it, the next it melts in their hands. It is all very well meaning and not malicious, but it begins to cause irritation. If you have a colleague or member of staff in this unpredictable state you may say “that’s fine, don’t worry just finish it when the dog has stopped ripping the sofa apart, your flat mate has paid the electricity bill and you’ve dealt with that really serious complaint you have forgotten”. In between your gritted teeth you are thinking ‘why can’t you just get a grip and deliver!”.
This is a behaviour we are hearing a lot about. It is described as a sense of entitlement. Some have been given so much leeway that instead of meeting you halfway with high performance they have decided they want everything on the shelves in the sweetie shop, plus the entire stock in the backroom too. For example, some people are deciding on their own that they are going to be permanently home based because it is so much easier for them. This is before the question has been asked or the policy on future homeworking has been written.
It is a tough one because you do not want to take away the wellbeing initiatives, but you also need to set boundaries. Some managers have said they are now scared of their staff because they think they can have anything they want if it makes life easier and if they don’t get it, they accuse you of undermining their wellbeing.
It might help to think about the simple concept of Triggers and Reinforcers. Behaviours are triggered and we repeat them because it is reinforced. For example, a member of your staff regularly asks you questions you know they can answer. Every time they ask, you answer which triggers the behaviour and when you keep answering them instead of pushing it back to them you reinforce it. Then you hear yourself thinking “I wish they would work it out for themselves” but wishing it does not make it so. You have to trigger a different behaviour (push the question back to them) and reinforce it (push it back every time they come to you and let them know they answered it well).
In lockdown managers have triggered an acceptance of giving their employees anything they need to drive their wellbeing and reinforced it by always responding to it – quite rightly. Many of your team will have responded by drinking in that wellbeing initiative, knowing it is something to be renegotiated down the line and that will be reinforced by you acknowledging it. Yet a minority want a never-ending refill of that wellbeing trigger and by delivering that you have reinforced the idea that they can. Instead of responding with high performance they are just sticking their cup out for you to refill it.
Has the time come to regroup and re-contract? Reset the trigger and reinforce a behaviour that suits everyone. This doesn’t mean undermining anyone’s wellbeing, it means getting performance back on track. Do you as a manager feel ready to have a few difficult conversations with individuals who would benefit from the lines being redrawn? Most humans want to perform well, one of the challenges of lock down has been lack of structure and sometimes lack of meaningful work to get our teeth into and this hasn’t been good for many of us. Triggering a revised way of mixing wellbeing with performance and reinforcing it by sticking with it might help you reduce wellbeing fatigue.
For support when starting those difficult conversations contact us….
Bravery and courage are central themes in so many books and films we have grown up with. The lion in The Wizard of Oz follows the yellow brick road in search of it, Shakespeare’s Hamlet calls on it to avenge his father’s murder and Jo March, in Little Women, bravely fights gender stereotyping to make her own way in life.
Leadership has always been associated with bravery but never more than now. As we enter the next stage of this new world, the pressure is on the maintain high performance, often in the face of significant challenge, profit and income shortfalls (unless you are running Zoom or Amazon) and uncertainty about the future. So maybe now is the time to think about what being brave really means in your role and how it may be different from relying on bravado.
First some differentiating definitions:
Bravery is defined as courageous behaviour and character, whereas bravado is described as a bold manner intended to impress or intimidate.
You can see the problem here. Bravery is all about substance. It inspires belief and trust in leaders. Bravado may be motivating and exciting at first but lacks weight if not followed up with evidence, action and consistency from those who employ it. As the quote says – we need a backbone, not a wishbone.
So, when the pressure is on and whether you lead an organisation, section, team or project, how do you remain brave and avoid the bravado trap? Here are 3 ways.
We aren’t born brave – or maybe we are and life bashes it out of us. Either way, being brave is a choice. It’s scary at times, requires energy and time and you feel the weight of responsibility to lead people relying on you to set the direction. But it is rewarding too and what we need from our leaders right now. Anyway, what’s the alternative – fake it till you make it? You may not make it.
Hello readers. Last week we looked at some of the positives of learning online in a group or with your team and promised a counter-argument to follow. Well, here it is – some of the downsides of virtual learning and why we need to balance it with some close contact learning experiences once our country leaders and our common sense give us the green light.
We gave you 8 benefits for learning remotely so in the spirit of balance here are 8 of the disadvantages. Or maybe not. Because when it comes down to it, there really is only one disadvantage. But it’s a big one. Huge.
Here it is. When you engage in online learning, however skilful, however much group interaction is part of it and no matter how many polls, breakout rooms, whiteboards, and interaction you include, it is NOT the same. Human learners need connection and that means being in the same room as others, at least some of the time. Whether it is your coach, your manager, your team, or a learning group you are part of, there is just something about the warm body experience that takes learning to a different level.
We are professional facilitators, used to being in a room with others. Since Covid-19, we’ve adapted our business to deliver entirely virtually for now, and we’ve adapted well. But two months on, the cracks start to show, as people crave that connection and inclusion you lose virtually. As one colleague puts it “You can’t get the smell of people”. Don’t take this literally. They mean that the senses are dulled online. You don’t pick up on the finer nuances of what others say and how they are feeling. When you’re in a room, you somehow get more from the unsaid – that someone is feeling unsure, has additional questions that need teasing out, or that in a team session there is a tension that hasn’t been expressed. It is odd that we are staring intently at each other’s faces during online learning (as well as staring at our own faces for hours on end – note to self – smile more) yet we don’t pick up nearly as much as we would do by being there. This has a major impact on learning and limits its effectiveness.
This whopper of a disadvantage is less of a thing where you are looking to gain knowledge or pick up a set of skills. Which is why online learning really comes into its own for a quick how to or to gain know how. As soon as the learning focuses on relationships, interpersonal skills, customer care or anything requiring practice and feedback, the disadvantages of trying to do it all in the virtual space become apparent.
So here are our conclusions as we all start to dip our toe back in to the world. Virtual learning is serving us well in many ways. It existed before this pandemic and it will endure in the future. It’s great for knowledge, remote coaching and self-development. But when it comes to team coaching, team development, skills practice, and anything where relationships are the first priority, you can’t beat the face to face, scented option.
Seen on social media earlier today: “Human contact and face to face interaction is what keeps us healthy. The rest is just background noise.” Over and out.
How many conference calls and catch ups do you have today? Life and work BC (before Covid) was, for most of us, characterised by the warm body experience. Now we live our working lives and quite a lot of our personal lives too, on screen.
This includes the way we develop as many of us now engage in online learning, accessing courses, modules and webinars in the virtual space. As you know, our business is learning and development and some of our work with clients was conducted online anyway – coaching and training people around the globe. Some of our work was – now it all is.
At the moment we don’t have much choice but, in the future, we will have. So, two and a bit months in we thought we’d look at the impact of virtual learning – the good, the bad and the ugly. This week we look at some of the positives of learning online in a group or with your team that we have discovered, and we why should all be doing it more.
Here are some thoughts on the benefits – 8 to be exact.
You’ve set your office up, finally managed to work out how to get on a video call and are secretly enjoying the lack of a commute. You have probably been for more walks in the last two weeks than in the last two years and discovered things about your local neighbourhood you didn’t know. And you are busy, busy, busy…… or are you?
Strange things are happening to us two weeks in. Many of us had different reactions to the working at home directive. You may have noticed that some of us sprang into action, came up with 25 different ideas to grab the opportunities presented by the challenge and set up more social media links than Kylie Jenner to keep in touch with everybody. Then some of us flailed around a bit doing a good impression of Virgil the puppet in Thunderbirds not sure what was happening and how we should respond.
These responses are totally normal and will have produced some great work. Those who have paused, reflected, planned and remained calm will have done lots of foundational work that will come to fruition in the next few weeks. Those who could leap into action will have kept spirits up, kept your organisation agile and bravely gone…
And now the lull where “not busy guilt” can creep in. This is a form of natural guilt which serves as an internal elbow in your ribs to help you identify uncomfortable behaviour and change course. Natural guilt prompts you to call your Mum, leave your phone number when you scrape a car manoeuvring out of a parking space or alert the restaurant to an item missing off your bill. Natural guilt, some social scientists believe, comes from our ability to empathise with others' suffering.
How do you know you’ve got it? Look at some of these phrases, do any of them specifically or broadly sound like the voice in your head?
This inner talk could be a sign of natural guilt. These thoughts can stop us sleeping, be weapons to attack ourselves with and generally make us feel useless.
The good news is that if you have a healthy relationship with your personal guilt, you don't agonise over the feelings, you use the dig in the ribs to change your behaviour.
Let’s take the thoughts above and use them as examples of ways we can re frame thoughts.
If you do need to fill some time how about volunteering to help busier teams? Accessing online learning to skill yourself up, refresh and consolidate your professional skills. Finally doing that not urgent but important progress task you have shuffled around your desk for the last three months – now that would be a huge surge of productivity!
You have the power within you to overcome your natural guilt, proactivity rules!
More resources:
We have created two free online modules to help both managers and staff adjust to working remotely. They are short, punchy and packed with ways to stay focused, motivated and connected whilst working away from the office. Click on the links below to watch.
It looks like we might be seeing less of each other for a little while. We didn’t need a virus to tell us that remote teams are a thing – many of us have been part of remote teams for years. But for the immediate future, we may all be part of a remote team.
Time is short and you may be feeling fraught so let’s keep this simple. Here are five things you can do if you are the team’s leader to ensure you don’t lose connection with colleagues, during times apart.
And finally, when you are physically together again, make the most of what was learnt from remote working. There may be some practices that work so well and lead to better results and happier people that they’re worth keeping. And for you as a manager, you can say that you have gained experience of managing remotely. That’s one for the CV.
Do any of the following sound familiar to you?
If you recognise some of these symptoms you could be suffering from the underuse of the operational management levels in your organisation. The layer of management under the senior team contains a rich seam of knowledge and skills that needs to be mined by an organisation for growth and success yet so often is ignored, wasted and undermined.
If we look at the big picture around leadership and management we see a clear difference between the two. Leaders concern themselves with high-level strategy, scanning the horizon and keeping an eye on the next big thing and what the competitors are doing. They also have a huge role to play in getting the right people in the right place, removing obstacles in their way so they can deliver results and feel good about doing so.
Managers concern themselves with operational planning, objectives, delivery and creating a motivational environment for people to release their potential, achieve and grow. They need to understand and know the people they work with to get the best out of them and use their skills for the benefit of all.
There are, of course, crossovers. Sometimes leaders need to manage and managers must lead when the situation demands but broadly speaking if each layer can do what they need to do most of the time the organisation gains huge advantages.
We work with organisations that have worked really hard to strengthen the individual teams of senior leaders and middle managers. Then they bring the two together to agree boundaries, cross-team project work and the exchange of information vital to their success. Leaders know things middle managers do not and vice versa so together they get the whole picture and success emerges.
Another list for you, this time one that highlights the advantages of the gap being closed at the top:
Are you bridging the gap or falling into it?
…because they fail. In fact by the time this read this, you’re probably on the downward slide with some of your best intentions.
Instead, an article about new beginnings. January is a great month for a do-over. You get a chance to do better at things that didn’t go quite to plan the previous year and to make a start on things you know will propel you to success this year. If you’re looking for small changes to invest some energy in and see a quick return – here are some ideas we see successful people taking on and flying with, time and time again.
So this January consider these and other ideas and what they might do for you in the year ahead. Anything that makes you wiser, swifter and yes – happier – has got to show up in your results. It’s all about staying current – New Year’s resolutions are so last year.
In our September newsletter, we explored one subject we love to present on, when we speak at conferences. And we promised a second theme so here it is. Something key, that is making our audiences sit up and listen.
This one is about leadership and our thoughts on what leaders need to grasp to thrive in changing times. Our thoughts are many, so here are just a few.
Whether you’re a leader already or aspiring to be one, there are always new thoughts on leadership. To sit up and really listen though, you have to get your head out of the kitchen sink.
The beach towels are folded and stored, the suitcases are back in the loft and we’re panicking about work we didn’t finish before escaping to the sun – it must be autumn. This is a time of high activity at work, no more excuses and a chance to shine. And for us it’s conference season.
So what are the hot topics making people sit up and listen? Resilience, wellbeing at work and managing the next generation have been big this year but there are two subjects that never go out of fashion. And one of them is about the dark art of creating a team from a group.
Some teams aren’t teams at all, they are just a group of people who happen to report to the same manager and come together for meetings and updates. Just because you call yourselves a team it doesn’t mean you are one. Members have to work to become a truly cohesive; effective joint force and certain conditions need to be in place for this to happen. High performance teams create magic (and get rather fantastic results) so if you’re the team’s leader, it is your job to identify what that magic is and how you work it on your team.
You may be coming to hear us speak on the subject this year, and if so, we’ll be revealing our top tips for team transformation. If not, here is a sneaky peak – our top three.
So whatever this season has in store for you, everything works better when groups become teams. What of the other conference subject in making people sit up and listen? Too much on the autumn “to do” list for now, so more on that next time.